If Only My Grandma Knew. . .

My grandmother was the sweetest person I have ever met. She had three kids, and two grandchildren. I was her most unruly grandchild, testing everyone’s patience and will at times. Even though I was, as she would call it “a pill”, not once did I ever see her raise her voice, or be unkind. Even after I would run away from her squealing with joy across the church yard and she would have to ask someone to go catch me, she still met me with a big smile.

While I was growing up, my grandmother survived cancer – three times. But you never heard her complain. She always wanted to hear about how her family was doing. She was so focused on us, we never knew if she was in pain or uncomfortable.

She was my dad’s savior, as well as all of her three kids. She bailed out her children financially several times, especially my dad. Even working three jobs, he had a hard time raising me alone and paying the bills. His divorce left him with a lot of debt, and without my grandma’s hand out every few years he would have been swallowed alive financially.

Her kids knew, growing up, even as adults that they could always turn to their mom for help. She would do anything she could for them. My dad ended up paying her back by being her caregiver during her last 5 years. He also made a living being with his mom – which in itself was wonderful for both of them. She knew she was financially helping him, and he learned so much about her during those years.

She would have had a house to leave her children, but she took a reverse mortgage on it many years before to help her kids out. By the time she died, the funds had completely ran out. This was about 9 months ago.

My dad did okay for awhile. . but 6 months after her death, dealing with the death of his last living parent, going through possessions of a house lived in for 40 years,  being disabled and much older then most applicants, he is having trouble finding new employment. It has gotten to the point where he is going to the food closet for his meals, and cannot afford the gas to drive and see his recently born granddaughter. My Aunt and Uncle also live paycheck to paycheck, and when things go wrong – like a washer and dryer going out – they have serious financial trouble for a few months making up for the additional cost.

I have no doubt that my dad will eventually find a job- But a lifetime of having a mom to bail him out has left him without some survival skills. He is trying to figure it out now.

My grandma. . If only she knew that she could have spent her money on investing in a plan for the future, and taught her kids to plan ahead. Everyone kept living in the “now” from one fire to the next, without realizing there would be fires in the future. Life is all about planning for the future as well as enjoying the moment. I keep imagining how much it would have relieved the stress of the whole family if she had a life insurance policy. Memorial costs, time off work, house clean-up, and other unknown expenses were all a struggle for her kids to come up with.

I love her and miss her every day. I also have learned a lot from watching her and her kids, and I know how much it would bother her to see them hurting right now. I know my dad does not have a life insurance plan, nor will he be relieved of debt anytime soon. If anything happens to him a lot of financial clean-up and expenses will fall in my lap. As well as my aunt. This is why I chose to have a financial plan, and get a life insurance policy – early. I also live paycheck to paycheck – but I make sure I can invest in my accrual life insurance policy each month, as well as retirement plan. I have money I can access if an emergency happens, and something substantial to leave my children.

I wish she knew what would happen when she was gone, and how her best intentions made her a hero for the time- but left her kids hero-less and searching for answers when she was gone. Please, please, please  teach your kids how to plan for the future – and start building the legacy your family with the sweetest of hearts deserves.